Thursday, 25 July 2013

Welcome To Japan

"I wonder what goes through a person's head before they snap. What are they thinking? Are they angry? Indifferent? Disillusioned? Does their blood pressure rise? Do their fingers shake? Do they question their place, their thoughts, their own mental makeup?

Does the universe seem infinitely small or inconsequentially large? Do they lay awake at night recounting the day? Or go through the day physically exhausted? Do they long for a vacation that seems to never come? Do they yearn for a peace that does not exist? Do the walls that protect them seem easily broken under the strength of anger?

What happens to a person mentally when they decide that enough is enough? The question of why we are where we are is of little use when it is used as a complaint, but can mean the world when used constructively.

The only thing more annoying than having to hear people kiss is having to hear them have sex. Just go to bed already, ffs. If what is put forth by nature would have its way at my annoyance, then perhaps it is I who must retire. Retire to my slumber or perhaps to my home. Chiba sucks. I want to go home.

It's all the same, no matter how far a person travels to be the person they dream to be, it's never enough just to be a well meaning voyager. One must also have heart to see past their own limitations. What a load of crock. It's no use to complain, but it is of great value to recognize that it is not what just I want in the world, but what everyone else wants as well.

We are all the same, we are all star stuff. We are on our own voyage through time, space, life, death, love, hate, work, and play. I don't claim to be the work of a creator, for in a universe set forth into motion by its own being then there is little for a creator to do. I am what I am, which is to say that you are you, and that I am you, and you are me, and we are we. Or us. I don't understand English, I just teach it. What a crazy thing to be alive."

I didn't write this, but I could totally relate to it. There are days when I scratch my head and think why did I come here, and why am I still here. There are things that I really HATE about Japan. It's like that significant other. The things that were once cute, become frustrating and annoying.

On the other hand I've had awesome moments and a few valued people around me that seem to make the fleeting insane times pass.

I would like to credit the writer but I think considering the content it's best that the person stays anonymous. I wanted to put it here in case it was eventually deleted. Some things should not be forgotten.


peavey said...

To escape from ones shelf... This reminds me of The City, by Cavafy (although the translation misses a lot of the original's futility and desperation)...

You tell yourself: I'll be gone
To some other land, some other sea,
To a city lovelier far than this
Could ever have been or hoped to be-
Where every step now tightens the noose:
A heart in a body buried and out of use:
How long, how long must I be here
Confined among these dreary purlieus
Of the common mind? Wherever now I look
Black ruins of my life rise into view.
So many years have I been here
Spending and squandering, and nothing gained.

There's no new land, my friend, no
New sea; for the city will follow you,
In the same streets you'll wander endlessly,
The same mental suburbs slip from youth to age,
In the same house go white at last-
The city is a cage.
No other places, always this
Your earthly landfall, and no ship exists
To take you from yourself. Ah! don't you see
Just as you've ruined your life in this
One plot of ground, you've ruined its worth,
Everywhere now-over the whole earth

The original:

Είπες· «Θα πάγω σ' άλλη γή, θα πάγω σ' άλλη θάλασσα,
Μια πόλις άλλη θα βρεθεί καλλίτερη από αυτή.
Κάθε προσπάθεια μου μια καταδίκη είναι γραφτή·
κ' είν' η καρδιά μου -- σαν νεκρός -- θαμένη.
Ο νους μου ως πότε μες στον μαρασμό αυτόν θα μένει.
Οπου το μάτι μου γυρίσω, όπου κι αν δω
ερείπια μαύρα της ζωής μου βλέπω εδώ,
που τόσα χρόνια πέρασα και ρήμαξα και χάλασα».

Καινούριους τόπους δεν θα βρεις, δεν θάβρεις άλλες θάλασσες.
Η πόλις θα σε ακολουθεί. Στους δρόμους θα γυρνάς
τους ίδιους. Και στες γειτονιές τες ίδιες θα γερνάς·
και μες στα ίδια σπίτια αυτά θ' ασπρίζεις.
Πάντα στην πόλι αυτή θα φθάνεις. Για τα αλλού -- μη ελπίζεις --
δεν έχει πλοίο για σε, δεν έχει οδό.
Ετσι που τη ζωή σου ρήμαξες εδώ
στην κώχη τούτη την μικρή, σ' όλην την γή την χάλασες.

Κωνσταντίνος Π. Καβάφης (1910)

Jimmy In Japan said...

Thanks for sharing this!

Some people come here with a grass is always greener mentality. But truth is sometimes it can be worse. There IS a sense of "space madness". If something is wrong in your life, running away doesn't make it better. If I had this choice again though, I'd still have come here. Everything is a learning experience.

Thanks again.